Over 40,000 Famous Quotes Sorted By Topic and Author

RECREATION, n. A particular kind of dejection to relieve a general fatigue.

REPENTANCE, n. The faithful attendant and follower of Punishment. It is usually manifest in a degree of reformation that is not inconsistent with continuity of sin.

Revolution: in politics, an abrupt change in the form of misgovernment.

SELFISH, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.

Academe, n.: An ancient school where morality and philosophy were taught. Academy, n.: A modern school where football is taught.

Success is the one unpardonable sin against our fellows.

Women and foxes, being weak, are distinguished by superior tact.

Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.

FUNERAL, n. A pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker, and strengthen our grief by an expenditure that deepens our groans and doubles our tears.

FUNERAL, n. A pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker, and strengthen our grief by an expenditure that deepens our groans and doubles our tears.

VALOR, n. A soldierly compound of vanity, duty and the gambler's hope.

... the instrument and symbol of a freeman's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.

OCEAN, n. A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man -- who has no gills.

Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.

Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband.

WRATH, n. Anger of a superior quality and degree, appropriate to exalted characters and momentous occasions; as, "the wrath of God," "the day of wrath," etc. . . .

YANKEE, n. In Europe, an American. In the Northern States of our Union, a New Englander. In the Southern States the word is unknown.

ZEAL, n. A certain nervous disorder afflicting the young and inexperienced. A passion that goeth before a sprawl.

ZENITH, n. The point in the heavens directly overhead to a man standing or a growing cabbage. A man in bed or a cabbage in the pot is not considered as having a zenith, though Horizontalists hold that the posture of the body was immaterial.

ZOOLOGY, n. The science and history of the animal kingdom, including its king, the House Fly . The father of Zoology was Aristotle, as is universally conceded, but the name of its mother has not come down to us.