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Vice is a creature of such hideous mien that the more you see it the better you like it.

A fanatic is a man that does what he thinks the Lord would do if He knew the facts of the case.

A fanatic is a man that does what he thinks the Lord would do if He knew the facts of the case.

High finance isn't burglary or obtaining money by false pretenses, but rather a judicious selection from the best features of those fine arts.

The past always looks better than it was because it isn't here.

It is more comfortable to feel that we are a slight improvement on a monkey than such a fallin' off from the angels.

Minds are like parachutes - they only function when open.

An appeal is when ye ask wan court to show its contempt for another court.

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives.

The only good husbands stay bachelors: They're too considerate to get married.

Th' newspaper does ivrything f'r us. It runs th' polis foorce an' th' banks, commands th' milishy, controls th'ligislachure, baptizes th' young, marries th' foolish, comforts th' afflicted, afflicts th' comfortable, buries th' dead an' roasts thim aftherward. - "Mr. Dooley's Opinions", 1900.

The past always looks better than it was; it's only pleasant because it isn't here.

A fanatic is a man that does what he thinks the Lord would do if He knew the facts of the case.

A man that would expect to train lobsters to fly in a year is called a lunatic; but a man that thinks men can be turned into angels by an election is a reformer and remains at large.

Vice is a creature of such hideous mien... that the more you see it the better you like it.

Vice is such a hideous creature, that the more you see of it the better you like it.

The world is not growing worse and it is not growing better--it is just turning around as usual.