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Most people are bothered by those passages of Scripture they do not understand, but the passages that bother me are those I do understand.

Eternal rest sounds comforting in the pulpit; well, you try it once, and see how heavy time will hang on your hands.

Always do right; this will gratify some people and astonish the rest.

All kings is mostly rapscallions.

It takes your enemy and your friend, working together, to hurt you to the heart: the one to slander you and the other to get the news to you.

I refused to attend his funeral. But I wrote a very nice letter explaining that I approved of it.

I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.

Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.

It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.

It is by the goodness of God that in our country we have those three unspeakably precious things: freedom of speech, freedom of conscience, and the prudence never to practice either.

It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.

They spell it Vinci and pronounce it Vinchy; foreigners always spell better than they pronounce.

It's good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while they are still rolling.

Golf is a good walk spoiled.

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then Success is sure.

Let me make the superstitions of a nation and I care not who makes its laws or its songs either.

What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin.

To be good is noble, but to teach others how to be good is nobler--and less trouble.

There are several good protections against temptations, but the surest is cowardice.

It is easier to stay out than get out.