All autobiography is self-indulgent.

You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing is recording it.

So saying, with despatchful looks in haste She turns, on hospitable thoughts intent.

An ostentatious man will rather relate a blunder or an absurdity he has committed, than be debarred from talking of his own dear person.

What kind of world is this that can send machines to Mars and does nothing to stop the killing of a human being?

Life itself can't give you joy, unless you really will it. Life just gives you time and space, it's upto you to fill it.

'T is my vocation, Hal; 't is no sin for a man to labour in his vocation. -King Henry IV. Part I. Act i. Sc. 2.

The fault rests with the gods, who have made her so stupid.

A fanatic is a man who consciously over compensates a secret doubt.

Who gossips to you will gossip of you.

Behind every successful man lurks a truly amazed ex-mother-in-law.

You've got to watch your mind all the time or you'll awaken and find a strange picture on your press.

Elevator is stuck between floors.

Be not the first by whom the new are tried, Nor yet the last to lay the old aside.

Mine host of the Garter. -The Merry Wives of Windsor. Act i. Sc. 1.

A lawsuit, however just, can never be rightly prosecuted by any man, unless he treat his adversary with the same love and good will as if the business under controversy were already amicably settled and composed. Perhaps someone will interpose here that such moderation is so uniformly absent from any lawsuit that it would be a miracle if any such were found. Indeed, I admit that, as the customs of these times go, an example of an upright litigant is rare; but the thing itself, when not corrupted by the addition of anything evil, does not cease to be good and pure.

Nature never sends a great man into the planet, without confiding the secret to another soul.

Your scene precariously subsists too long, On French translation and Italian song. Dare to have sense yourselves, assert the stage, Be justly warm'd with your own native rage.

Old Simon the cellarer keep a rare store Of Malmsey and Malvoisie.

Lord, Lord, how this world is given to lying! I grant you I was down and out of breath; and so was he. But we rose both at an instant, and fought a long hour by Shrewsbury clock. -King Henry IV. Part I. Act v. Sc. 4.