The Cock and the Jewel A COCK, scratching for food for himself and his hens, found a precious stone and exclaimed: If your owner had found thee, and not I, he would have taken thee up, and have set thee in thy first estate, but I have found thee for no purpose. I would rather have one barleycorn than all the jewels in the world.

I've that within for which there are no plasters.

Scientists tell us that the fastest animal on earth, with a top speed of 120 ft/sec, is a cow that has been dropped out of a helicopter.

Down on your knees, And thank Heaven, fasting, for a good man's love. -As You Like It. Act iii. Sc. 5.

The propeller is just a big fan in the front of the plane to keep the pilot cool. Want proof? Make it stop; then watch the pilot break out into a sweat.

If neurotic is wanting two mutually exclusive things at one and the same time, then I'm neurotic as hell. I'll be flying back and forth between one mutually exclusive thing and another for the rest of my days.

But hark! what shriek of death comes in the gale, And in the distant ray what glimmering sail Bends to the storm?--Now sinks the note of fear! Ah! wretched mariners!--no more shall day Unclose his cheering eye to light ye on your way!

If wisdom were offered me with the provision that I should keep it shut up and refrain from declaring it, I should refuse. There's no delight in owning anything unshared.

Eighteen holes of match play will teach you more about your foe than 18 years of dealing with him across a desk.

Promise is most given when the least is said.

If you speak insults you will hear them also.

One cannot play chess if one becomes aware of the pieces as living souls and of the fact that the Whites and the Blacks have more in common with each other than with the players. Suddenly one loses all interest in who will be champion.

The perfection of an art consists in the employment of a comprehensive system of laws, commensurate to every purpose within its scope, but concealed from the eye of the spectator; and in the production of effects that seem to flow forth spontaneously, as though uncontrolled by their influence, and which are equally excellent, whether regarded individually, or in reference to the proposed result.

The cause of freedom is the cause of God.

Writing is the only profession where no one considers you ridiculous if you earn no money.

My pride fell with my fortunes. -As You Like It. Act i. Sc. 2.

Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job.

When Honor's sun declines, and Wealth takes wings, Then Learning shines, the best of precious things.

Ceres, most bounteous lady, thy rich leas Of wheat, rye, barley, fetches, oats, and pease; Thy turfy mountains, where live nibbling sheep, And flat meads thatched with stover, them to keep; Thy banks with pioned and twilled brims, Which spongy April at thy hest betrims To make cold nymphs chaste crowns; and thy broom groves, Whose shadow the dismissed bachelor loves, Being lasslorn; thy pole-clipt vineyard; And thy sea-marge, sterile and rocky-hard, Where thou thyself dost air--the queen o' th' sky, Whose wat-ry arch and messenger am I, Bids thee leave these, and with her sovereign grace, Here on this grass-plot, in this very place, To come and sport: her peacocks fly amain. Approach, rich Ceres, her to entertain.

Debt is a prolific mother of folly and of crime.