Over 40,000 Famous Quotes Sorted By Topic and Author

How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on.

How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise MY hand!

How would you like to spend eternity: Smoking or Non-Smoking?

Hugs are not measured by quantity; they are measured by quality.

Humans are like tea bags. They never realize their strength until they are put in hot water.

Human things must be known to be loved: but Divine things must be loved to be known.

Hymns appropriate to the occasion. Dentist's Hymn -- "Crown Him with Many Crowns" TV Weatherman's Hymn -- "Showers of Blessing" Contractor's Hymn -- "The Church's One Foundation" Tailor's Hymn -- "Holy, Holy, Holy" Golfer's Hymn -- "There Is a Green Hill Far Away" Politician's Hymn -- "Standing on the Promises" IRS Hymn -- "All to Thee" Gossiper's Hymn -- "Pass it On" Electrician's Hymn -- "Send the Light" Shopper's Hymn -- "Sweet By and By" If you MUST speed on the highway, sing these hymns loudly: at 45 mph.... "God Will Take Care of Me" at 55 mph.... "Guide me, O Great Jehovah" at 65 mph.... "Nearer My God to Thee" at 75 mph.... "Nearer Still Nearer" at 85 mph.... "This World is Not My Home" at 95 mph.... "Lord, I'm Coming Home" at 100 mph.... "Precious Memories".

If you aim at nothing, you'll hit it every time.

If you always do what you always did, you'll always get what you always got.

If you are headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns.

If you are never scared, embarrassed or hurt, it means you never take chances.

If you are willing to admit you are wrong when you are wrong, you are all right.

If you can attend a church meeting without fear of harassment, arrest, torture, or death...you are more blessed than three billion people in the world.

If you can keep your head while all about are losing theirs and blaming it on you - perhaps you have underestimated the seriousness of the situation.

If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to serve as a horrible warning.

If you can't be content with what you have received, be thankful for what you have escaped.

If you can't control the wind, adjust your sail.

If you can't laugh at yourself, you may be missing the joke of the century.

If you can't say something nice, become a reporter.