Over 40,000 Famous Quotes Sorted By Topic and Author

Of course, there's now a higher percentage of seat belt users. The non-users are slowly being killed off.

Often, the only way to comfort the suffering is to understand that you can't understand and just be there.

Oh Lord, help me to keep my big mouth shut until I know what I'm talking about.

On a display of "I love you only" Valentine cards: Now available in multi-packs.

On a front door: Everyone on the premises is a vegetarian except the dog.

On a very cold, snowy Sunday in February, only the pastor and one farmer arrived at the village church. The pastor said, "Well, I guess we won't have a service today." The farmer replied: "Heavens!, if even only one cow shows up at feeding time, I feed it.".

One good thing about being wrong is the joy it brings to others.

One good thing about forgetting is that you can no longer worry about what ever it was you forgot.

One half of the world will never understand the other half, and it doesn't matter which half you're in.

One of life's mysteries is how a two-pound box of candy can make a person gain five pounds.

One of the most important things a father can do for his children is to love their mother.

One reason why computers can do more work than people is that they never have to stop and answer the phone.

One thing you can give and still keep, is your word.

One time a windshield wiper will work properly is when it is holding a parking ticket.

One who looks for a friend without faults will have none.

One Youngster was explaining to another what "mixed emotions" meant. "It's like watching the school burn down when your new catcher's mitt is in your desk," he said.

Only in America do people order double cheese burgers, a large fries, and a diet coke.

Only in America do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and leave useless things and junk in boxes in the garage.

On the first day of school, the Kindergarten teacher said, If anyone has to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers. A little voice from the back of the room asked: "How will that help?".

On the other hand, you have different fingers.