Over 40,000 Famous Quotes Sorted By Topic and Author

Trust is like money; you spend it, you save it, you lend it, and sometimes you get robbed.

T-shirt: My heart belongs to Daddy. . .and so do my credit cards!

Two brothers were discussing Adam and Eve. The 8-year-old asked: "How did Adam and Eve die?"And the 4-year-old said: "They ate bad fruit.".

Two kinds of people: Those who finish what they start and ...

Two men looked out of prison bars. One saw mud and the other saw stars.

Two men went into a diner and sat down at the counter. They ordered two sodas, took sandwiches out of their packs and started to eat them. The owner saw what was going on and approached the men. "You can't eat your own sandwiches in here," he complained. The two men stopped, looked at each other, and then swapped their sandwiches.

Two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.

Two rules to success in life: 1. Don't tell people everything you know.

Two things are sure in life: There is a God, and you are not him.

Two wrongs don't make a right, but three rights make a left.

Two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights made an airplane.

What a dog I got. His favourite bone is in my arm!

What do Windows and a handgun have in common?Both are harmless while not loaded.

What flowers grow between your nose and your chin? .... Tulips.

"What, giving again?" I asked in dismay. "And must I keep giving and giving away?" "Oh, no," said the angel, piercing me through, "Just give till the Father stops giving to you.".

What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull.

What is right is often forgotten by what is convenient.

What is the difference between a Peeping Tom and someone who's just got out of the bath?One is rude and nosy, and the other's nude and rosy.

What is the most important thing to learn in chemistry? Never lick the spoon.

What passes as a woman's intuition, is usually nothing more than a mans transparency.