Over 40,000 Famous Quotes Sorted By Topic and Author

A man who throws dirt loses ground.

A meeting is an event at which the minutes are kept and the hours are lost.

America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight.

America is a country which produces citizens who will cross the ocean to fight for democracy but won't cross the street to vote.

America is a land where citizens vote for Democrats but hope to live like Republicans.

America is the only country in the world where the poor have a parking problem.

"Am I indecisive?" Can I get back to you on that?

A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weekend. The attendant worked quickly, but there were many cars ahead of him in front of the service station. Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump. "Reverend," said the young man, "sorry about the delay. It seems as if everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long trip." The minister chuckled, "I know what you mean. It's the same in my business.".

A minister was talking to similar group of young children. "Who can tell me what we must do before we can expect forgiveness of sin?" There was a moment's pause, then Tommy made a logical contribution: "Well, sir, first we have got to sin.".

A moment on the lips,an eternity on the hips.

A more expensive tennis racket will not make you a better player.

Archeologist: someone whose carrier lies in ruins.

A real patriot is someone who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works.

A relationship is like sand in your hand. If held loosely in the palm of your hand it stays there, but as soon as you close your hand tightly it slips through your fingers. A relationship is like that held tenderly with respect for the other person it last, but once you close your hand to hold on tightly it slips through your fingers.

A religion that is small enough for us to understand would not be large enough for our needs.

A retired husband is a wife's full time job.

Are you wrinkled with burden? Come onto Church for a FAITH LIFT!

A rich person is not the one who has the most, but the one who needs the least.

A rookie cop was asked the following question on an examination: "How would you go about dispersing a crowd?" He answered: "Take up an offering. That does it every time.".

A rose can say I Love You. . . orchids can enthrall. . . but a weed bouquet in a chubby fist. . . OH MY that says it all!