Over 40,000 Famous Quotes Sorted By Topic and Author

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

A three year old put his shoes on by himself. His mother noticed the left was on the right foot. She said: "Son, your shoes are on the wrong feet."He looked up at her with a raised brow and said:"Don't kid me, Mom. I know they're my feet.".

A tree never hits an automobile except in self-defense.

A true friend walks in when the world walks out.

A truth spoken before its time is dangerous.

At Sunday school, the teacher asked Little Johnny, "Do you know where little boys and girls go when they do bad things?" "Sure," Little Johnny replied. "They go out in back of the church yard.".

At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said, Johnny what is the matter? Little Johnny responded, "I have a pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife.".

Attend Church weekly NOT weakly.

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is hell? Come early and listen to our choir practice.

Attitude might not catch fish, but it helps when you don't.

Attitude must be an art because it draws, and not a science because it can't be measured.

A twofold national problem is how to preserve the wilderness in the country and get rid of the jungle in the cities.

At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying.

"Automatic" simply means that you can't repair it yourself.

Autopsy is a dying practice.

Availability is better than ability for God.

A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.

A very dirty little fellow came in from playing in the yard and asked his mother, "Who am I?" Ready to play the game she said, "I don't know! Who are you?" "WOW!" cried the child. "Mrs. Johnson was right! She said I was so dirty, my own mother wouldn't recognize me!".

A vibration is a motion that can't make up its mind which way it wants to go.

A vicar was preparing to leave his parish. In order to avoid a particular parishioner being sad, he said "Don't worry, you'll probably get a better man." "Not necessarily," replied the parishioner, "that's what the last one said before he left.".