Over 40,000 Famous Quotes Sorted By Topic and Author

A weird thing about humans is we work till we're sick to get a fortune, then pay a fortune to get well again.

A wife is a person who can look in the top drawer of a dresser and find a man's handkerchief that isn't there.

A winner says, "There must be a better way to do it".A loser says, "This is the way it has always been done here".

A wise man sees as much as he should, not as much as he can.

A wise person escapes temptation and leaves no forwarding address.

A wise person has something to say, a fool has to say something.

A wise schoolteacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school: "If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I'll promise not to believe everything he says happens at home.".

A 'wish' changes nothing. A 'decision' changes everything!

A woman never shot a man while he was doing dishes.

A woman's greatest power is her vulnerability.

A word gets its meaning by the person who speaks it.

A word of encouragement during a failure is worth more than an hour of praise after success.

A year spent in artificial intelligence is enough to make one believe in God.

A young minister sitting down to dinner was about to say Grace when he opened the casserole dish that his thrifty bride had prepared from countless refrigerator leftovers. "I don't know," he said dubiously. "It seems to me that we've blessed all this stuff before.".

A young minister was helping his wife with the dishes meanwhile complaining: "This is not a man's job!" "Oh, yes, it is!" she said, as she quoted from 2 Kings 21:13, "I will wipe Jerusalem as a man wipeth a dish, wiping it and turning it upside down!".

A young person knows the rules but the old person knows the exceptions.

Dancing is a vertical expression of a horizontal desire.

Dear God, help me to guard my tongue and learn to say the right thing at the right time for the right reason in the right way. Help me, too, to know when to keep my mouth shut.

Dear Jesus, Please help Mommy and Daddy. Take care of Brother and Me. And please God, take care of yourself cause if anything happens to you we are in big trouble. Amen.

Death is life's way of telling you you're fired.