Over 40,000 Famous Quotes Sorted By Topic and Author

A cynic is someone who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.

A daddy was listening to his child say his prayer "Dear Harold," ........ At this, dad interrupted and said, "Wait a minute, "How come you called God, Harold? The little boy looked up and said, "That's what they call Him in church. You know the prayer we say, "Our Father, who art in Heaven, Harold be Thy name.".

A dancer goes quick on her beautiful legs; a duck goes quack on her beautiful eggs.

A diet is a selection of food that makes other people lose weight.

A diplomatic husband said to his wife, "How do you expect me to remember your birthday when you never look any older?".

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.

A disbelief in God does not result in a belief in nothing; disbelief in God usually results in a belief in anything.

A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me... They must be Gods! A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me... I must be a God!

A dog who attends a flea circus most likely will steal the whole show.

Adolescence and snow are the only problems that disappear if you ignore them long enough.

A drop of ink may make a million think.

A drunk mans' words are a sober mans' thoughts.

Adult: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.

A Dutchman was explaining the red, white, and blue Netherlands flag to an American. "Our flag is symbolic of our taxes. We get red when we talk about them, white when we get our tax bills, and blue after we pay them." The American nodded. "It's the same in the USA only we see stars too!".

A face without freckles is like a sky without stars.

A fair face may fade, but a beautiful soul last forever.

A family came home from Church where the sermon was on Adam and Eve. The Mother noticed the boy sitting on the bed feeling his ribs.She asked what he was doing.He said, "I counted these things 3 times now. Ma ! I think I'm having a wife.".

A farmer learns more from a bad harvest than a good one.

A father is someone who carries pictures where his money used to be.

A father said to his son, "When Abe Lincoln was your age, he was studying books by the light of the fireplace."The son replied, "When Lincoln was your age, he was President.".