And now, in keeping with Channel 40's policy of always bringing you the latest in blood and guts, in living color, you're about to see another first - an attempted suicide.

If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy.

One may outwit another, but not all the others.

Feast of Dunstan, Archbishop of Canterbury, 988 [Unbelievers] think they have made great efforts to get at the truth when they have spent a few hours in reading some book out of Holy Scripture, and have questioned some cleric about the truths of the faith. After that, they boast that they have searched in books and among men in vain.

Get leave to work In this world,--'tis the best you get at all.

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.

If we encountered a man or rare intellect, we should ask him what books he read. - Ralph Waldo Emerson,

Remember that failure is an event - not a person.

Anybody can win unless there happens to be a second entry.

A great man is he who has not lost the heart of a child.

To free the mind from the habit of competition, we must see in detail the process by which the mind is ensnared by competition.

Alexander Hamilton originated the put and take system in our national treasury: the taxpayers put it in, and the politicians take it out.

The only words that ever satisfied me as describing Nature are the terms used in fairy books, charm, spell, enchantment. They express the arbitrariness of the fact and its mystery.

Mercy and truth are met together; righteousness and peace have kissed each other.

As blushing will sometimes make a whore pass for a virtuous woman, so modesty may make a fool seem a man of sense.

Violence in the voice is often only the death rattle of reason in the throat.

Our minds can work for us or against us at any given moment. We can learn to accept and live with the natural psychological laws that govern us, understanding how to flow with life rather than struggle against it. We can return to our natural state of contentment.

One of the greatest pains to human nature is the pain of a new idea.

The first day a guest, the second day a guest, the third day a calamity.

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.