Over 40,000 Famous Quotes Sorted By Topic and Author

Availability is better than ability for God.

A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.

A very dirty little fellow came in from playing in the yard and asked his mother, "Who am I?" Ready to play the game she said, "I don't know! Who are you?" "WOW!" cried the child. "Mrs. Johnson was right! She said I was so dirty, my own mother wouldn't recognize me!".

A vibration is a motion that can't make up its mind which way it wants to go.

A vicar was preparing to leave his parish. In order to avoid a particular parishioner being sad, he said "Don't worry, you'll probably get a better man." "Not necessarily," replied the parishioner, "that's what the last one said before he left.".

A weird thing about humans is we work till we're sick to get a fortune, then pay a fortune to get well again.

A wife is a person who can look in the top drawer of a dresser and find a man's handkerchief that isn't there.

A winner says, "There must be a better way to do it".A loser says, "This is the way it has always been done here".

A wise man sees as much as he should, not as much as he can.

A wise person escapes temptation and leaves no forwarding address.

A wise person has something to say, a fool has to say something.

A wise schoolteacher sends this note to all parents on the first day of school: "If you promise not to believe everything your child says happens at school, I'll promise not to believe everything he says happens at home.".

A 'wish' changes nothing. A 'decision' changes everything!

A woman never shot a man while he was doing dishes.

A woman's greatest power is her vulnerability.

A word gets its meaning by the person who speaks it.

A word of encouragement during a failure is worth more than an hour of praise after success.

A year spent in artificial intelligence is enough to make one believe in God.

A young minister sitting down to dinner was about to say Grace when he opened the casserole dish that his thrifty bride had prepared from countless refrigerator leftovers. "I don't know," he said dubiously. "It seems to me that we've blessed all this stuff before.".

A young minister was helping his wife with the dishes meanwhile complaining: "This is not a man's job!" "Oh, yes, it is!" she said, as she quoted from 2 Kings 21:13, "I will wipe Jerusalem as a man wipeth a dish, wiping it and turning it upside down!".